Our home has been focused on expectations. Since we are having new outings this summer and just so happened that we had 2 birthday parties this week, we have needed to discuss what is expected before, during, and especially when it is time to leave.
Setting these expectations can be mentally draining for us Mamas, but the outcome has been extremely less draining (and embarrassing). π¬No one likes to have to pick up their screaming toddler and walk out of a place, but we have ALL been there!
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To set these expectations...
I begin when we are getting dressed. Most of the time I pick out my son's clothes. I ask him if he wants to, so it varies from day to day. As I'm helping him get dressed we talk about what we will be doing. For my oldest who picks out her own clothes and dresses herself. I let her know what the event is so she can dress accordingly.
For example: My daughter has been loving wearing dressing and tights! π΅ (I'm not sure she is mine.π) But wearing that to a trampoline park would not have been the best choice. I gave her some options. She was able to take that information, ask questions when needed and then made a great choice for a comfortable and cool outfit.
What will happen while we are there? I like to explain what will be happening. This includes things like: who we may know at the event, how to use the bathroom, what to do if they are thirsty or hungry, will there be food, we may be sitting quietly for a while or it will play time. I answer as many questions as I can while we are getting ready. I have also pulled up google photos to show what the new place looks like. This helps me too.
"When it is time to go, it is time to go." We talk about this when we first get IN the car AND when we are pulling into the place. Sometimes I have a reason like an appointment we need to get to and other times it's just time to go.
Try your best to give a warning time. "5 more minutes until we will cleanup." "You have 3 more minutes to play." "In 5 minutes, we are putting on our shoes to leave."
Remind them again that "when it is time to go, it is time to go." Or whatever phrase you would like. My kids are now repeating it to me.
Time to go!
I have noticed a significant difference in the meltdowns leaving events like birthday parties. Occasionally the meltdowns still happen but they are usually happening in the car where we are better able to talk about things. Often, all that is needed is a "we will try to do [this] again".
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